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News aggregatorA Prairie Home CompanionShipped on 07/22/08. From director Robert Altman comes this quirky piece of fiction based on the real-life radio program of the same name, with a wry screenplay penned by the show's host, Garrison Keillor. Supported by a high-powered cast that includes Meryl Streep, Lily Tomlin, Lindsay Lohan, John C. Reilly, Tommy Lee Jones and Kevin Kline, Keillor also stars in this behind-the-scenes look at the mayhem surrounding the folksy program's final broadcast.How to do a Home IUICategories: IVP
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Yes, I *AM* this lazy Categories: Hope's Journal, Journals
conventions and suchdear republicans: religion, patriotism and political conservatism are NOT the same thing. no, really. look it up.
dear people who belong to the republican party because you think your association with the party of the rich, wealthy and high social stature will liken you to much of the same: wake up. they don't like you, they are pretending. get back to your roots. dear the two african american people who the cameras kept panning to during the RNC last night: RUN FOR THE HILLS, PLEASE! and i am sorry you became television tokens. dear l*g c*bin republicans: (http://online.logcabin.org/) why, oh why? *shaking my head* dear s*rah p*lin: ohpleaseohpleaseohplease i hope in 2 months you'll be taking your smug snarky self back to your lovely state of alaska. dear r*dy Gi*liani: drill, baby, drill? holy fuck. i don't even know where to start. dear m*tt romn*y: kiss it, just kiss it. not sure i can take what m*Cain is going to blab on about tonight, but i also feel a responsibility to know what stupid shit they are spewing. Categories: Journals, Megan's Journal
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Yes, I *AM* this lazy Categories: Hope's Journal, Journals
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Yes, I *AM* this lazy Categories: Hope's Journal, Journals
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Yes, I *AM* this lazy Categories: Hope's Journal, Journals
sisterhood of the traveling candleback when we were trying to get pregnant with Quinn, we bought a candle. a Mary prayer candle. you know, ones that look like this:
mary brought us luck and hope got pregnant quickly with what became a healthy baby. then the candle hung out with us. a while after quinn was born, some friends sent out a call for items to add to their fertility altar. we sent the candle. the month of quinn's first birthday, they got pregnant and in January 2008, baby E. was born. inbetween E.'s conception and birth, the candle was sent on to more friends as they tried to get pregnant again. it worked, and their baby will be arriving shortly. a few months ago, the candle made its way to Cali, who has had a crappy time of getting pregnant over the last 3 years. in july, cali had 2 frozen embryos transferred to her uterus. actually, her transfer happened on what was the 3rd anniversary of Quinn's conception. [yes, the beauty of using donor sperm to conceive and the necessity of obsessive charting/ovulation tracking is that you pretty much know within a 12 hour window when you have conceived] and guess what? Cali is now really, truly pregnant with what seems to be a sticky bean. i didn't know that the candle had been sent off to Cali, and I had sort of lost track of it once we sent it off on its original mission. since the ectopic, i had been mulling over the crassness of tracking down the candle and asking for it back. i felt like maybe we needed her. so when Cali told me about a week after her embryo transfer that she had had it, and it had been lit while she was at an out-of-town clinic getting knocked up, tears immediately rolled down my face. it all seemed so perfect, and i was so, so happy that Mary had found her way to another family. a few week ago, Cali mailed the candle back to us. it arrived within days of the start of hope's cycle, this being the cycle that we were going to start trying again to get her pregnant. the candle pictured above has survived multiple shippings, and has brought grace to everyone it has touched. i am so thankful for the journey Mary has had, and i hope that her coming full circle, her traveling back to our home, is a sign of good things to come. Categories: Journals, Megan's Journal
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Yes, I *AM* this lazy Categories: Hope's Journal, Journals
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Yes, I *AM* this lazy Categories: Hope's Journal, Journals
Set of 4 Felt Green Onions / Scallions (seconds)Set of 4 Felt Green Onions / Scallions (seconds) Originally uploaded by hopeandmeganI made a ton of felt green onions for the IVP swap and these four didn't quite make the cut. They are perfectly presentable, but since I made too many, these are the ones that got put in the not-quite-perfect pile. *The top one is too skinny. *The second one and fourth one have some white thread visible on the green. *The third one is missing its little roots. Heck, you don't want to eat those anyway. You can pretend that that one is already cleaned. These are made with Ecospun® acrylic felt (100% post consumer recycled plastic). They probably do not taste as good as they look, so I would suggest they be for children 3+ or those who not actually eat their play food. All four for $5. This includes shipping to the US. You can get them at my etsy shop here: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=14693744 You can also see all of the patterns that I've been completing and uploading - pita with veggies and hummus, kiwi and eggplant here: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6135468 Categories: Hope's Journal, Journals
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Yes, I *AM* this lazy Categories: Hope's Journal, Journals
Padre needs a homePadre Originally uploaded by hopeandmeganThis is our foster kitty. He is wonderful, but we have too many already. Here is the page I made for him at petfinders. http://www.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=11784084 He is sort of Birman and sort of Ragdoll and sort of, um, cat. He is very good with kids. He puts up with WAY more than he needs to from little miss Q. Even though it says Middletown, he is here in columbus. Here are more pictures: http://flickr.com/photos/hopemcg/tags/padre/ Categories: Hope's Journal, Journals
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Yes, I *AM* this lazy Categories: Hope's Journal, Journals
here and therehaving a better day. i hate when it all comes out like it did yesterday, but there you go. i had a few hours of looking in at my life from the outside, if you will, and i felt overwhelmed at how craptacular this year has been.
~~~~~~~~~ listening to sarah mclachlan's album Touch and randomly wishing that mar*ah car*y of that era could have gone a similar route in showing her vocal and octave capabilities. ~~~~~~~~~ and to lighten the mood, i'll share a crazyass dream i had a few nights ago. let me preface this by saying i was really warm that night and ended up sans nightwear, except for undies, because of the womanly blood and all. this really is important later. so i was working at some camp kinda thing, a summer-y kind of place where kids go for a week or longer. i was walking around by the camp entrance, when i see someone i know drive up with his kids in the car. not weird at all, right? well, the car driver was a teenage obsession a boy i liked when i was 15 and thought i should marry, and someone i have not laid eyes upon since 1994. when i was 20. as in almost (:cry:) 15 years ago. [heh, just thought about it and yesterday marked 20 years since i met said boy. god, i feel soooo old] but seeing him again wasn't the anxiety-inducing part of this dream. nope. can you guess what was? come on, think classic unconscious anxiety. yeppers, i was naked. in the buff. megan a la nude. well, except for my period undies, which you know, are really attractive and something i just love to share. so i spent what felt like an eternity--i hate dream time!--trying to cover up my boobs, my droopy belly and my exposed thighs. it's really unnerving to have People From Your Past show up while slumbering, acccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! last night i slept in my nightgown. all night. Categories: Journals, Megan's Journal
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Yes, I *AM* this lazy Categories: Hope's Journal, Journals
and how are you??????here i am with my monthly LJ post. as many folks who post/blog infrequently say, there are many things swirling in my head that i'd like to write about, but for me, i don't have the energy to do it. sad, huh? i could make the time, i have things i want to talk about, but all of that thinking and writing and processing makes me tired.
and what's really on my mind is how this all points to depression. which just makes me scared and sad. and i think about the number of times a day that someone asks you "how are you?" for me, most of those conversation partners are strangers: the people working at the pet food store; the clerk at Whole Paycheck; the grandma at the park with her granddaughter. thus, the polite answer to the inquiry of your well-being is some version of "i'm okay/doing well/greeeeeat!" even when that's a lie, because really, they don't want to know the truth, with us being strangers and all. and i'm okay with that. in general, the less interaction i can have with strangers, the happier i am. but then there is that intermediate person--someone slightly more than an acquaintance, but not really a friend, in the sense that you don't have that person's non-work email address, or you don't do anything social with that person outside of work/school. i don't really have any of these people anymore since i'm not in school and i'm not working for pay, but when i did, it always felt a little weird lying to them. not enough to not lie, but maybe you can see what i mean. i could have been having the shittiest day ever, but say i'd go into my office at school and another grad student who i didn't know too well was there, and say she asked me, "so, how's it going?" i'd maybe make a general statement of "ehh, it's okay today," indicating that i wasn't exactly fabulous, but that i also wasn't going to say anything else about it. you see, other than the whole makes-me-tired-thinking-about-it issue, i suck at LJ because i feel like i only ever want/need to write about things that are negative. and yeah, i know, it's my journal, i can write what i want, blah blah blah. it's not that i want to hide the fact that i am tried-and-true pessimist with a fairly cynical outlook on the world. anyone who knows me at all knows that already. i just hate the idea of reading folks like you thinking, "oh, it's just megan being sad again." and i think you all are nice people and not fake, but i hate that perhaps you feel compelled to comment, lest you think i may do myself in or something. i hate that maybe you feel awkward, and that you may not know what to say, i.e., you don't know what i'm looking for in a response. so sometimes i am tempted to just tell the truth when anyone asks how i am. i would say, "well, i've been better. here's what's really bothering me right now: 1.) i am currently without professional direction in my life. i have not worked outside of the home in 8 months. it's not that i'm crawling the walls with being a stay-at-home mom, but i'm mainly stressed about my lack of contributing income. 2.) i really can't even think too long on letting go of my dissertation and PhD. which looks like a red flag that i made the wrong choice, i know. so although i have half a dozen very well thought-through reasons for abandoning it, emotionally, it's still hard. 3.) there is a parental preference thing going on with quinn that happens only when hope is home from work/weekends. (guess who's not the preferred one) this goes deeper than the "all kids go through phases of preferring one parent" philosophy. i haven't been brave enough to write about this on LJ, but i'll just say now that it sucks. it makes my miniscule self-esteem fall further into the toilet, if you will. quinn and i can be having a spectacularly wonderful day together, and then when the whole family is reunited (yay! family time! this is what we long for, right?), i (sometimes) become dead to her. if she just ignored me and wanted some mommymommymommy time, i think i could handle it. at least i'd understand it. but she's full on mean to me, hostile, and physically violent. <--not that she is going to hurt me physically--but it's still just lovely to have your kid hit you. 4.) the residue of this last year of trying to concieve is, well, always there. there's our niece and my cousin's baby, the physical reminder of the Grandchild Duo who was supposed to be a trio. another cousin popped out her second last week. i think about 85% of women appearing to be age-appropiate in the greater chicago area are currently pregnant. just an observation of a recent trip. had Crypto implanted in the right place, we'd be a few weeks from being able to tell the sex of the baby. or at least confirming what both hope and i felt was true. 5.) hope's period arrived last week, and this cycle is/was supposed to be our first one back in the TTC game. we're currently in limbo. the condensed version: this is the month we're having the 46373993202 blood tests done to see if there is a medical reason for deadbabies. the blood was drawn a few days ago. but i think the RE's office is perhaps not planning on "doing anything" with these results until next month. this isn't 100% confirmed yet, and i know, what's another month of waiting, right? in the long run, it's nothing. but right now, JFC, i want to be doing SOMETHING. we could go ahead and sperm up on our own since we don't need the RE's office to do that, but the whole reason we didn't do that LAST month was because we were waiting for the panel of miscarriage blood tests to happen. we felt like it was too risky to sperm up without having the results--and now we may not have them in time for this month. in short, how am i? i am frustrated. sad. without focus. worried my wife thinks i suck. bitter. jealous. kinda flailing. and these are the things you can't say in polite conversation, even when you really want to or need to say them. because telling other people that you're okay can only be used to brainwash yourself for so long. i'm sharing the truth with you not to gander pity, but to help explain why i've been checked out for so long now. Categories: Journals, Megan's Journal
Once Upon a Child -- HandcuffsOnce Upon a Child -- Handcuffs Originally uploaded by hopeandmeganWe saw this at a local resale shop. Hmmm.... Wonder what child they were once upon? Categories: Hope's Journal, Journals
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Yes, I *AM* this lazy Categories: Hope's Journal, Journals
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Yes, I *AM* this lazy Categories: Hope's Journal, Journals
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